There’s no word for the opposite of nostalgia. Antonym attempts to construct the thing we don’t have a word for: if nostalgia is a yearning for the past, Antonym longs for forward motion and envisions the future as an escape from pain.

Nostalgia is often associated with childhood. For me, the weather can evoke childhood memories of joy, sadness, or fear. The weather would often be a factor in my state of happiness or unhappiness. A few examples: warm weather reminds me of sitting out at recess so that my skin would not tan (dark skin is undesirable in Filipino culture), being bored in my parents’ office in the summer; fall reminds me of back to school, the end of my loneliness. We often remember what the weather was like the day a traumatic event happened.

“Antonym” is an interdisciplinary performance piece that integrates music, movement, and projection design. It is scored for flute, violin, piano, and electronics. Using field recordings of New York City throughout the year, the four seasons serve as a cyclical frame and context for memory. The work will be completed in early 2020. Special thanks to Mabou Mines 2019 Resident Artist Program.

Performance history
2019 National Sawdust’s Hildegard Competition Concert (Runner Up)
June 4, 2019
Antonym: I. Winter - Now, Then, and then (concert staging)
Conducted by Lidiya Yankovskaya
Performed by Allison Loggins, flute; Miranda Cuckson, violin; Kathleen Tagg, piano

Mabou Mines Resident Artist Program - Work in progress showing
May 22 & 23, 2019
Antonym
I. Winter
- Now, Then, and then
II. Spring (draft)
Performed by Laura Cocks, flute; Hajnal Pivnick, violin; Sugar Vendil, piano