A continuous line

 
Clockwise from top left: my final Target Margin Institute investigation; backstage with Trevor and Barbie at Periapsis Open Series at GK Arts; Target Margin Intensive, March 2016; at the Museum of Art and Design (MAD) Harry Bertoia exhibit; Coco; at the Met Museum with Target Margin; MAD Bertoia exhibit with Hajnal; work process photos of Test Site 1; a selfie. 

Clockwise from top left: my final Target Margin Institute investigation; backstage with Trevor and Barbie at Periapsis Open Series at GK Arts; Target Margin Intensive, March 2016; at the Museum of Art and Design (MAD) Harry Bertoia exhibit; Coco; at the Met Museum with Target Margin; MAD Bertoia exhibit with Hajnal; work process photos of Test Site 1; a selfie. 

 

Another year, another set of failed resolutions.  If I forgot about them and didn’t make a sincere attempt, that means I didn’t really fail at them, right?! 

The election and dead celebrities aside, 2016 has been a year of artistic and creative realizations for me. The Target Margin Institute was a major contributing force. I was surrounded by open, intelligent, and creative cohorts, guided by the amazing David Herskovits, and supported by fantastic artists Sarah Hughes and Moe Yousuf.  I learned so much about leading and taking part in a process, saw amazing plays, and had the chance to meet and listen to Richard Foreman speak in an intimate setting. 

That happened the day after the election.  I wasn't planning on really writing about the election here, but in a somewhat circuitous way, it was another factor for the creative changes I decided to make. Like many of my friends and colleagues, I am working towards taking a more active role in important issues, but relating back to artistic awakenings: it emphasized that the voices of women need to be loud and amplified further and further until we are heard. I became extremely aware of how many things I had always wanted to do but did not (which I will specify as I do them over time), due to my lack of confidence as a woman in a male-dominated field, and then I thought: Screw it. No time for hesitation. For me, this creative hesitation is a microcosm of all the hesitations we execute because we only see people like us hindered, or don’t see them, rather, as they are instead rendered invisible: don’t apply for that opportunity; stay in your lane; a woman can’t possibly be president.

Also, two friends my age died. These shocking events not just reminded me, but screamed in my ear, that life is too short not to make things I want to make.

Although another year is ending, I would rather think of tomorrow as a continuation of a line rather than a newly drawn beginning. Calendars have the psychological effect of making us think of a new year this way; in fact, I still imagine each day and week as a box I’m inside of, the last day of the year the bottom of a page. But it is not the beginning for me; I’m adding on to what I’ve started.